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Anchorman By A balding fat man who vomits on occasion  Gee. This was a funny movie. I saw it with my friends. It was funny. HA! I lied…no…not about the movie being funny…it was….I lied about the friends thing. Yeah. I don’t really have to many. Mother is too old to go out to the movies. Plus she only likes films with Jessica Tandy in them (She died 5 years ago). She also says she doesn’t like all the “multitude of colors emitted by the skin of the audience.” Whatever that means.
This movie is about an Anchorman who really likes the news. I liked his suits. I also liked Christina Applegate. Whom, while I still had a job in the 80’s, used to masturbate frequently to when she was better known as Kelly Bundy. (Sometimes David Faustino was an interesting masturbatory substitute) This movie was so funny that while laughing I began to feel very sick. I stood up in the theater and felt the room spin. A large black man told me to “sit my fucking fat stupid ass down” I calmly tried to proclaim I was feeling dizzy and would like to exit….. But... The only words I got out of my mouth were…. “OH My!!!” Then Bleeeehhhchch I vomited all over the large black man…decorating him like some sort of erotic cake. The audience didn’t notice until they heard my screams for help….that is….after the large black man proceeded to make me stick my own foot up my anus. But gee. What a funny movie. Will Ferrel sure can wear fake moustaches. The dog was alright. I wonder how it ended. From what I saw though, I give it 4 out of 5 stars. Sincerely, James Baker the third ( A Balding Fat man who vomits on occasion) Sherman Oaks Hospital, Room 412   4 out of 5 Stars 2004 |
