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Apacalypto Reviewed By a Five-Year Old Burn Victim  I hate Mel Gibson. He made this movie, he made it. He knew. He knew that, that when you make this movie you make people read it. I can’t speak mexicoan. And, when my arm caught on fire, all the smoke burned my eyes, so now, I can’t see well either. All I see is blurry green thing and all this noise is all over the place everywhere.
I had such a bad headache. The pain was so so so so throbby and hurtfultality, this movie made me feel horrible. Horrible. Horrible. That’s why you should talk to my dad, who didn’t write this article. He’s trying to get this law passed, The Little Burn Victim Compensation Act. People like me, who feel horrible, and have pain and burn scars that are so painful, should get, because we deserve, a $650 Billion dollar compensation. Every facility in the world must be made to accommodate the burned. Every business must have a section that is ten degrees cooler so that it’s not too harsh on my sensitive, burned, painful skin. I want special ramps for our wheelchairs that DON’T have grooves in them that can make our ride bumpy, and painful. I want movie theaters that accommodate the burned with seats that have little air holes in them so that you hover a little bit above them like an air hockey table so that it’s not too harsh on my burned, extremely sensitive and painful skin. I want it! When I was at Apacalypto, I couldn’t see anything, the screen was too blurry for my burned, broken and beaten vision (the three B’s). That’s why movie theater’s need to project the movie out of focus, so that everyone is equally on the playing field as me. And Hollywood….No more reading movies! Mel Gibson, look at me. Look at my painfully burned arms and grotesque face, I am a disgusting melto-monster. Your movie brought out the significance of my injuries and gave me a feeling of being left out, and now I want you to change the entire system to accommodate me. Just goes to show you, Hollywood, it’s all run by abled-bodies.    3 1/2 out of 5 Stars MOVIE REVIEW ARCHIVE 2007 |
