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Stray Birds
A long time coming. Written a year before it was made, with different
actors in mind and a slightly different plot. It was put aside due to
certain assholes being assholes, and saved for one year, when I
returned, and tried to fuck those very assholes by making this movie.
And I think I did just that.
It's a sitcom, a pilot for one at least, about two foreign
brothers from Pugatary who come over to America to try and make a
living. They are accompanied by their blind landlord, who, in this
episode, sets them up on a date with his neice or something (I forget).
All this, while winning One million dollars from Edmcmahan...or so they
think... Continue...
Nike
 Don't
let anybody ever trick you into thinking stop animation is easy. I was
like, yea, I'll do that shit, fuck it, can't be that hard, I've done it
before. Man, it wasn't that it was the hardest thing ever, just really
goddamn tedious.
Don't get me wrong, I think it turned out fine, it just took
a week longer than I originally intended, and encompassed an entire two
weeks of non-stop work. For 30 Seconds.
I actually did cut the shoe and played that in reverse and
animated the "Robots" myself, using photos. It is what it is. I have a
hard time actually watching it, cuz it brings up all that shit that
went with it. And I got some award or honorable mention for this, but
fuck that, those people are douche bags. I remember one of the judges
had a pony tail. A pony tail!
Continue...
Local fat child wins magazine selling contest!
Katesburg, Il -
– - Little Davie Walsh won the local Magazine Sales contest put on
by his local middle school this past month. He did so by selling over
three thousand subscriptions!
It all began last month when Larry Elders from BYSCO came to
the Katesburg Middle School and proudly announced the magazine contest.
“I told them, ‘Hey guys, sell twenty…get a stuffed snake doll! Sell
fifty get three candy necklaces! Sell a hundred and you receive a pair
of 3D glasses…sell two hundred and you get some glow sticks! Hell, sell
a thousand and I will adopt you and you can live with me and my rich
family and I will buy you ice cream and McDonalds every day of your
life and I will re-name you Lord of Amazing!’ But I guess that’s where
I made my mistake.” said Larry.
Seems those words struck a chord with little Davie Walsh, the
local fat kid with a dream. His Principal Andrew McLevvit says about
Davie “He is fat. And Yes. He has social problems, and yes, I am
wearing a tie with little pictures of Jeff Goldblum” Continue...
Church of Satan Elects New Pope: Brian Bosworth!
Valencia, CA -
After a long day of discussions and debate…the Satanic Council of
Popery picked their man to lead the Satanic Church. None other than
Brian Bosworth, of former NFL and STONE COLD fame.
“I am surprised and delighted to become Satan’s eyes and ears
on Earth. I will once again grow my mullet long and shave three
lightning bolts into the side of my head. I will also get more of those
dangly earrings that only me and Rick James could pull off without
looking like fags” Said Lord Bosworth.
Continue...
Interview With an Archeologist While Drunk
We arranged to meet with
Edward Marchais, leading Archeologist in all things old. We didn’t care
to do much research or anything. But, for some reason…we decided to
meet up with him in a bar over a few drinks. He seemed nervous and
socially awkward. We were plastered and uninterested. God damn, things
just kind of went from there.
Stogie Bros: So, what? How many Nazi’s have you beaten up in your life?
Edward Marchais: Well, none actually. I was in Germany twice and it was a very nice place-
SB: Man, fuck that place.
EM: [silence]
SB: Yo, that girl over there is looking at you Eddie. I think she wants to fuck you. Go talk to her.
EM:Oh…no. I think we have an interview to do.
SB: Come on!
EM:No, I couldn’t.
SB: Just go up to her and let her know you got some coke. She will talk to you then.
EM:I’ve never done-
SB:-Never lived life until you’ve done a line off of some tits.
EM:[stops to think]
Continue...
Poll of Dancers Shows Dancing Hardest Thing You Can Do
 Boston, Mass.-
– M.I.T. University researchers recently conducted a poll to
determine what was the most physically draining activity. In a
resounding triumph over boxing, wrestling, and Dance Dance Revolution
(a close second). Dancing itself was deemed number one by nearly 85% of
all of those polled.
In a side note, M.I.T. exclusively conducted the polling of
only dancers, mostly afeminant males. The reasoning for this was
unexplained, but other universities are already lampooning the results.
“I am an individual. I am unique. The flailing of my arms is
totally unique to me, even out of our dance class of like 300 people,”
Bruce Michaels was one of the several people interviewed at Gary’s
Dancenter in Fort Worth, Texas. “It’s hard, and if you can’t understand
that, than you can’t understand my complexity.”
Continue...
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Review By Russel Crowe
This is a film that just gets my eggs right off! I am on a fucking
airplane…trying to put my feet up on one of the chairs…then this lady
says to me “Excuse me I can’t see….I can’t seee! You’re blocking the
movie!! Wah Wah Wah Im a cunt.” So I said well, madam…don’t let Russel
Crowe’s feet, the feet of the finest bloke in the world, get in your
way! So I went and sat on her fucking lap…crushed the crapper out of
her…I proceeded to watch this Sisterhood of Traveling pants.
I then started to scream “Isn’t this the greatest movie in
the world everyone! I would never let an Oscar winning actor put his
feet up for this film! Everyone Watch! Everyone!”
Continue...
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As of August 9th 2005 at 9:50 P.M.
© 2005 StogieBros.com
Web Site Design
By The Mike Morelli
Email Stogiebros@yahoo.com
*Some Personalities used in articles are fake, and are not by who they say they are
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