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President Gets too High For Comfort Says One Intern
 Shaniqua Quallins has quit her job and gone public. Not unlike Clinton before him, president bush has a few Intern problems of his own. Shaniqua quit her position as presidential marijuana advisor. She claims that on a day to day basis Ari Fleischer would send her out to buy different varities of marijuana for the president. This has gone on since the beginning days of Bush's days in office. Ms. Quallins had enough last week when she was confronted by the president for not geting him the "Texas Sized" ounce of marijuana he had asked for. In her press conference she had this to say, "He pressed up against me and I felt something hard against me, then it got damp. It turns out it was his bong and he spilled some bong water on my dress. I turned the dress over to the independant council for examination." That apparently was the last straw for Shaniqua, she then handed in her resignation, then went public.
 The White House has tried to downplay the issue, "Now we all know the preisdent's policy on marijauna. Next question, preferably one that isn't retarted." said spokesman Ari Fleischer. At a recent address President Bush gave to the RWAO (Rich White Assholes Orginization) he had this to say, "I am committed to fight marijauna single handedly!, In fact be a good citizen and send all your marijuana to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and I'll take care of the rest. It doesnt matter to me, Ill take regs, kind bud, northern lights, BC Bud would be nice. THE USA IS COMING FOR YOU SADDAM!" The crowd cheered wildly and then donated some more money to Israel.
Only time will tell weather or not this will effect President Bush at all, already some senators are talking impeachment, as did Senator Wally Windelman (D-Wi), "Impeachment." said Sen. Windelman. When one reporter asked another senator weather they thought Bush is guilty of smoking reefer the reporter was succintly arrested for being an enemy combatant. The casualty rates are high in the media, almost 64% of the media has been proclaimed "enemy combatants" just for reporting the story. Most of the major networks have dropped the story, but we at Stogie Bros. feel information should flow freely like diarreah on a hot windy day. More on this story as it develops.  2003 |
