           
|
Class Clown Eddie Dwainstein  You remember those kids in your class who said all that funny shit? Who called your math teacher a “Bald piece of faggot shit” or who asked your English teacher to “Jerk me off and call me Prince Edward.”….wait…you don’t…maybe it’s because there has never been such a raunchy Class Clown as Eddie Dwainstein. Sure we covered a class clown about three years ago…but that’s chump league compared to Eddie. He doesn’t fuck around. He began freely using curse words in his routines while in class…a feat many are too scared to try. He has been fighting the system of his local high school and repeatedly gets in trouble…but he doesn’t care…as Eddie puts it…he’s “fuckin’ stupid.”
Stogie Bros:We hear you get sent to the office several times in one day. You went so far as to punch a teacher because she didn’t laugh at one of your jokes. Eddie Dwainstein: Yes. This is true. I don’t like to think of my material before hand. My act isn’t about being contrived. That day was particularly harsh…several of my jokes bombed…So I figured the best way to get my class back on my side was to hit my teacher in the jaw… SB: Was it a woman? ED: Yeah. She was a lady alright. Cried the whole way to the hospital. I got some suspension time. Never took my shades off once though. SB: What are some of your favorite bits? ED:Well, All of my stuff is my favorite…but…If I had to pick one…it would probably be the time I told the joke about the Indian kids and then got the fat German exchange student girl to take a shit on the spelling test. I think that’s as poetic as I will ever get. SB: Okay… ED: But you know. I’m not racist or anything…I jus don’t make fun of Indians or take advantage of the German kids. I like to have my way with the chinks…and even my people…the Jews...I don’t hold back. SB: What do you mean? What kind of bit? ED:Well…I purposely raise my hand to volunteer to speak in front of the class…then I tell my teacher I can’t go up because I got a boner when I thought about money and loose change. It generally kills with the English class audience. SB:Anything a low blow for you? Anything you won’t do? ED:Yeah. I really really hate it when people say “nigger”. SB: Why make fun of everyone else and protect another group…isn’t that reverse racism? ED: Yeah, well. I just feel bad about it ya know…I always like to be a defender of my brothers. But its not the only thing I won’t do…I won’t make any sort of joke about babies or abortion either. SB:Come on! Babies…babies are stupid. You expect me to believe that? ED:Yes. I do. SB:I got a good baby joke for you….want to hear it? ED:Sure…what… SB:How do you know your baby is gay? ED:How? SB:if its dick tastes like SHIT! ED:[silence] that was uncalled for. SB:Lighten up. I thought you were a raunchy class clown? ED:Oh I am a class clown- SB:You’re an ass clown. ED:Hey…what kind of interview- SB:Interview is over Eddie. Come back to us when you grow some balls and stop being a hypocrite. [ED. Note- Eddie left several messages with baby jokes and jokes about blacks on our answering machine…none were funny. Don’t believe the hype.] 2005 |
