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Confessions of a Dangerous Mind By Jerane Tenkleton 
For the first time in my life, I went to go see a movie, but failed to comprehend it and didn’t remember anything. Mabye it’s because I took double the recommended dose of Percasets a half hour before going into the movie…or maybe it’s because of that 6 inch “gig undo-joint” I smoked before entering the movie. Whatever the cause maybe, I have no recolection of this movie at all…I only remember one scene with Julia Roberts and Sam Rockwell and they were drinking…and Julia Roberts wasn’t naked.
What happened after this or where I was is completely a loss to me…I simply do not know if I was conscious of unconscious during the following and preceding hours, but I do know that this movie was soft and pure dog shit. And…I only know that from the people around me who were kind enough to give me a quick synopsis of the movie….and from what they told me, it sucked. After the movie I was finished, I quickly scurried off to the local slums where a friend of mine offered me ether. I obviously used some, for I am not one to pass down valuable ether, but I believe this too may be one reason why this movie is a blur to me…Waking up with a sign that said “Cum On Me” and laying unconscious in the elevator at the Phillip Morris Memorial Arms Factory, I was awoken by a young yuppie-looking man who brought me out back and raped me anally. Now, following this movie and the mysterious night out, I have herpes…so fuck this movie and fuck that shitty ether-binge night…this movie gets zero stars…  0 out of 5 Stars More Movie Reviews 2003 |
