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DOA: Dead or Alive By The Prophet Mohammed Movie Review Archive  I don’t understand all this fuss over who can show my picture or not, I don’t really care. I would pose spread eagle with my asshole wide open for sex magazine, I’m not really shy about myself. They made all that other stuff up after I died.
In fact, I’m a very open person. Most of the time I don’t even wear clothes, I don’t wipe my ass and I shit wear I eat. You really think I made up that 72 virgin thing for a real reason? The only movie I watch, only one in all of the land – sex movie. The sex movie of the fall is the infidel’s Dead or Alive, with woman who fight and play volleyball and make fuck sex. I loved this movie! There was a lot of action, cutting to high kicking and ninja jumping. Only problem I have, is the woman don’t have veils or hair on arm. I like this movie very much, when it was over I had two of my students go in and film the whole thing so I could watch it at home. I have reincarnated myself as an Engineering Professor at Wayne State in Detroit, and I use my students for favors in exchange for grades. I’m currently working on making artificial fingernails and post pictures of my balls being stomped on all over the internet. In fact, you could say I’m a minor celebrity on the net. The whole world watches as I shove light bulbs up my ass – without breaking them. Yes, it is quite a life I live. Now that I have this movie at home, I watch it every day. I marvel at the sheer magnificence of the breasts and remember fondly the days when all I had was my horse and my hand.  I chose this life for a reason – I was bored doing what I did before. Before this, I would just sleep in my golden bed all day and comb my long blonde hair for hours, maybe shoot my diamond arrows into the sea of the blind. But, it just got boring. I didn’t get internet and the cell phone service was kerput, that’s why I decided to come down here. And I like it.
So, if you stop by Detroit sometime and are looking for someone’s balls to step into or even on, check me out. I live right off campus. The names Mohammed, or Muhammad, whichever you prefer, and my house is the one with the golden sphere at the top. 
400 Stars 2007 |
