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The Fast & The Furious Tokyo Drift By Lamont St. James  If they is one thing I like better than shotguns…it’s rice rockets. Honda’s, toyota’s with all them lights in shit. They really good. I’m saving up so I could get me one…maybe race my friend Anfernee. My Grandma say them cars aint nothing but the devil. I told grand ma to shut her fuckin’ mouth. Then I hit that bitch right in her 42 year old face.
Next thing I know I’m on trial. I got myself a new suit and a nice Jewish Lawyer and he got me out of my trouble. He just told me to cry and promise to join a football team. Pssh. No dang football team for Lamont. I just like to sit and clean my shotguns. It’s the only thing in this world (besides rice rockets and pussy) that I really love. I don’t love my grandma. So, yeah, I went to go see this motherfuckin’ movie. Guess what. They don’t allow shotguns in the motherfuckin’ theatre!? Since when? Now I’m in juvie and Imma gonna do my best to review the movie. (My Jewish lawyer, Mr. Fred told me I’m fucked and that I better start doing good things. WHAT UP FRED!)  The movie probably goes a lil’ something like this.
In Tokyo, there is a man named Lamont. He has the most Shotguns and Cars in all of the land. He tells all them chinesian people to be his slaves. Then one day at the Waffle House he runs into his Grandma. He tells the Chinesians to leave the restaurant. He screams at her “GRANDMA. YOU SO STUPID!” Then he takes out 8 shotguns and shoots her in her dang face like a million times or something. It’s like a really good movie though. So. Yeah. WHAT UP FRED? (appeal motherfucker, appeal) Lamont St. James Prisoner #LJ85429  5 Out of 5 Stars for My version This Edition's Reviews Lady in the Water - World Trade Center - The Devil Wears Prada - Pirates of the Carribean 2 - Big Momma's House 2 - V For Vendetta - An Inconvenient Truth - Fast & The Furious Tokyo Drift - Superman Returns - A Scanner Darkly - MOVIE REVIEW ARCHIVE 2006 |
