           
|
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy By King Gyandendar of Nepal  It was movie night in Kathmandu, I bring in robe and
sit in chair. After our feast in the Prime Minister's
former office, I put my feet up, and say to man who
shines light onto screen to make movie appear, “Start
now.”
I know English, and I hate English people. This movie was all about English people. Who in the hell's idea was it for me to watch this? I ask, was it Deuba's? I spit in his eye and drink his daughter's menstral blood! I didn't understand half of this movie because I was talking through most of it, goddamn Deuba! I tell my servants to not respond so I can watch the movie, but I too angry and all I can think about is that goddamn Deuba! So, I yell at them when they do not respond. They tell me this is the only American movie that got through. I was waiting for something with Jennifer Lopez, I love her, but servant comes and says it was stolen by the Maoists. It was not stolen by the Maoists, it was Deuba, I know it. He sends me this piece of shit wrapped in a nice package. And this is no American movie, it's a goddamn English movie! Deuba is smart, he tricked me, but I will still triumph victorious. Which is exactly why, I, on purpose, did not enjoy this movie. Deuba was trying to tell me something, but he can go fuck himself. I will not enjoy this movie, I will hate it and burn it and then beat the ashes with a stick. What I got from this movie, was that it was about space. Servant tells me it's a “Hammer and Tongs” production. What the hell does that mean? He says they are good. Good at what? He does not know. And then, this other one says that it's based on book. It's not one of the ones I have declared unlawful and banned, but I will soon after I finish this article. The movie, itself, had images that I liked. Space, spaceships, space planets, spacemen, and even a space woman (she's no Jennifer Lopez though). There was just so much, too much, for a humble King like myself. It went from one idea to the next, and then back again, and I'm trying to finish my chicken at the same time and still tell my servants of their incompetence. I sweat, it was hot, especially in white tiger robe. But the problem with the movie was that the story was just too much, the Hammer and Tongs did a good job with bringing it to the screen (unfortunately my screen), with some funny moments here and there. I've never seen an English movie before, but why can't they be more like American movies? In Bollywood movies, they sing and dance and fall in love and it is stupid. In Chinese movies, it's about honor and respect, which I cannot relate to. But, American movies, it's only about three things; sex, money, or killing. This English movie, I have no idea what it was about, except space and English people and a black man. I have too much on my mind, they say I am tyrant for dissolving the government, which the Maoists have always said, I cannot think about this. I should have stopped before the Third act, which sucked anyway. Goddamn Deuba.    3 1/2 out of 5 Stars MOVIE REVIEW ARCHIVE 2005 |
