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House of Wax By Vincente Fox  Hola. My friends. This evening I was lucky enough to see an American film that was mucho gusto. I will continue to speak in my broken English to remind you of the fact that I am the Mexican Presidente.
This movie was horrifying. It not because the movie itself was scary…no…no….It was because only Mexicans were in the theatre when I saw the film. This is a film that not even the blacks will go see. Yes. I digress. I was paid several hundred American dollars by a large bearded Jewish man named Joel Silver in exchange for my endorsement. He told me that he would hire several hundred of my country men to cut his lawn…a job that he assured me he could not get his black maids to do. So the time comes and goes. I have not gotten any sort of response from Mr. Silver. I am highly saddened by this. So, effective June 29th. I will arm my people with wire cutters and Viagra…to infiltrate your borders…rape your women and to more importantly find the man named Joel Silver, and to make him uphold his ultimate promise. Letting me spend the night with Paris Hilton. Yes. I would fuck her. Twice. Sincerely, Vincente Fox  0 out of 5 Stars MOVIE REVIEW ARCHIVE 2005 |
