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Kinsey By Abid Batiz  Good evening. My wife and I wanted to see a movie. I was arguing with her. She wanted to see Hitch. I say. “Let us see Kinsey” She say “Will Smith is so smooth, you are not like him”
So I smack her and run away. I run and I run. Till I find myself at the movie theater. I buy two tickets and say loudly to everyone else “My wife is coming later…her vagina is bleeding and she needs more soap!” (in Pakistan it is crime to see movie without wife) I sit in theater and after movie finish. My erection still strong. Like horse. This movie taught me all I ever wanted to know about sex. I want to be like Liam Neeson. He has so much sex and get to see a lot of breasts. I was in the mood for fuck. I returned home. My wife crying. She still made because I hit her in the face. She say she will not have sex with me ever again. This make me upset and angry. I was ready for fuck and she didn’t let me dive into her hairy jungle. Now it is 47 days later. And still no fuck. I am going insane. I try everything. I buy her razor, I buy her flowers, I get her soap, I get her new Punja Shunja album…and still NO FUCK! I have decided to go on strike in the town square. I will kill myself if someone does not give me fuck. If my wife refuse. I will blow brains all over statue of American president in town square named James Polk. If I do die. Let my children know that Kinsey was a shit movie, not counting all the big breasts and woman’s sideways mouths, Let them know their mother, Khalida, is a cunt whore woman. She has fangs. And that Papa loves them. Sincerely, 
Abid Patiz  0 out of 5 Stars (Reviewer Killed before Rating was given) MOVIE REVIEW ARCHIVE 2005 |
