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Massachusetts Miracle Man  Okay, so you smoke some weed every so often…or your friend told you how crazy ecstasy was. Yeah. That’s great. You are so brave. But what about heroin? Huh? What about coke? What? Okay...but what about several times a day? Fuck, yeah. We caught up with Rory Stevens of Myerton, Massachusetts. He is 43 and still lives with his Mom. But he has good reasoning…not because of his fondness for videogames and comic books…it’s because Rory didn’t fuck around when it came to taking any kind of drug. He tripped on Acid for a year straight! He was shooting up while on trial for burglary! He was snorting coke off his own dick! Motherfucker is insane. Crazier than a shitting mongoose on a cold Thursday. Now he can’t walk right and he still hears the ghost of Ann Margaret speaking to him (She isn’t even dead yet)
Stogie Bros:So Rory, How are you doing? Rory: Good. I just got back from the bar. Gotta get fucked up somehow. SB: It’s 10 am…So describe to us the first time you got so high you thought you were going to die. Rory: It was probably when I just did about three 8-balls in two hours. I stole a car and right in the middle of driving it home, I just decided ‘I am tired of driving’. And having no concept of anything…I just opened the fucking door and jumped out. I fucked up my face pretty bad. When I touched my face I could feel all the bits of bone moving around underneath the skin…but It didn’t hurt until I woke up in the hospital puking all over myself the next day. SB: God Damn. What made you stop? Rory: Mainly money, I began prostituting myself…you know…I would blow just about anyone for twenty bucks. But I had enough of sucking some lonely Asian immigrant’s dick at 3 in the morning to score some coke. So I tried to go straight. I worked at Ben and Jerry’s for about a week…for a goof I tried shooting up Cherry Garcia into my ankle. It felt really good at first…but my blood didn’t like it too much. SB: Thanks Rory. Rory:Can you spot me bus money? SB:No. 2005 |
