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Man Accidentaly Prays to Wrong God By John Morelli  Palestine, MI- Albert Raines never expected to get the cold shoulder from God, but that’s exactly what happened to him earlier this week. Let us have Albert explain what exactly happened. “Well, it was late and I was getting tired, and I said my prayers but, for some reason, I prayed to Allah instead of my Judeo-Christian god. I awoke the next morning with a headache and I felt like a cheap whore” says Albert.
What he awoke to find was a note from god asking him where he was last night and that he was really mad at Albert. “When I got the note from God I think that is when it hit me; I did something wrong.” Well God’s Publicist said that the relationship is over between him and Albert because he considers praying to another God cheating and that he is a monotonous relationship sort of God. Albert has tried calling and praying to God since then and has received no answer and has pretty much been denied all access to all invisible man in the sky worship for the last forty-eight hours and counting. Albert is deeply upset, “I haven’t been able to pray for America and that God makes all of our explosions the biggest explosions and for him to kill all bad guys.” Only time will tell if God will forgive Albert and his worshipping ways. But Albert has a message for god, “God, If you are reading this, It is Albert, um, I am sorry, please let me worship you again. Please. Well you can always call me, ok. You still are a cool god.” Godspeed Albert, Godspeed. 2003 |
