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Local farmer becomes vegetarian to impress sheep By John Morelli  Dumfuck, AL- Recently Gomer Guffunkus has made a change to himself to impress a new love in his life. He has stopped eating meat and has began rolling his socks extra high in order to impress his sweetheart Sheila. But what makes this story unique is that Sheila is a sheep. Yes, Gomer has got the hots for a sheep.
You may be asking yourself, ‘Why doesn’t he just fuck the sheep and continue eating meat?’ Well lets have Gomer explain that one, “Well, I have never been too good with the ladies, let alone sheep, so I is really shy and I am more old fashioned, I try to court my livestock before performing coitus with them.” Well Sheila hasn’t really noticed his efforts according to outside sources. We asked a man with three teeth standing near the farm of Gomer on what he had to say, “Yeah, I seen dem, dey all walking dis way and dat, he have his pepe out trying to up on put it in da sheep dere. Da sheep dough, she don like it one bit.” Gomer still sees a chance for love to bloom between Sheila and him. “I will be good to her, I will, when I slide my dirty farmer penis in your sheeps anus I will be gentle, I promise. I was a boyscout, I have made and kept eight promises in my life, want to make it nine?” When he described how he would perform anal sex with the sheep is when this reporter left and headed for the hills. If you want to send advice or tips to Gomer, e-mail him at GomerGuy@hotmail.com. 2003 |
