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KKK offers solution to Africa’s AIDs problems By Mike Morelli The Ku Klux Klan recently held a press conference in Verda, Maine to address one of the most prominent issues of the twenty-first century - AIDs. After discussing the problems with this disease, the KKK leader, Rev. Jams McGams quickly moved into talking about Africa itself, which has been riddled with AIDs epidemics for years. Here is a direct transcript of the conference. “…And that brings me to one my best, most intelligent point of the night - Africa. This third world country has been dealing with this disease for centuries, and here in the predominately white, United States of America (Pause for Cheers) we have waged war and won against the evil forces that we call AIDs.  “Now since this problem plagues the entire universe, I thought it would be only right if our organization offered a solution this problem of problems, a plague amongst plagues. We have studied the situation with the African-Americans in Africa, and have hypothesized a way to end this terrible problem.
“Invented in 1945 by a man named Edward Teller, the atomic bomb is a magnificent device that, we believe, will solve the spread of AIDs. For centuries, people thought the Atom Bomb was used more for blowing things up, which is true, but in reality, it could be used for clearing things up. For example, if I were to put small pox in South Dokata and then Nuke it, there’d be no more small pox, right? “Our plan is simple, it calls for the simple dropping of eleven-teen nuclear bombs on nearly all major cities in the country of Africa. As you can clearly see, all of the AIDs virus will be removed, and maybe a few humans may, sadly, lose their lives also.” Reporters immediately took stabs at the organization’s “solution”. Eric Goldman asked what would the nuclear Fall out effects be to the rest of the world. McGams responded, “No, I don’t think so. Our pilots are the best in the world and will surely hit their targets.” Henry Raab asked the KKK “why” they were doing this, to which McGams responded “We are doing it because we love Jesus and we love America. It is our christain duty to help our fellow man, just as we have been doing for the last 4,000 years.” It was later pointed out that Jesus H. Christ was only born 2,000 years ago, to which McGams stormed out of the conference because he said he was incensed by that comment of “hate and scorn against my lord and savior!” The NAACP responded to the conference live on CNN’s crossfire. NAACP representative Mark Freeman said, “Those f*****g crackers have gone crazy.” No one else really has taken these “ideas” very seriously, except hate web sites and farmer’s almanacs. Obviously their solution will not be implemented, but who knows, maybe it is a good idea? I mean nukes are pretty damn cool, wouldn’t ya’ say? 2003 |
