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Rapper BOOTFA$E heats up charts By John Morelli Added February 20, 2005 The era of Gangsta Rap long gone. Now the age of Hostage Rap has swept the nation and its premiere star is BOOTFa$E. BOOTFA$E, real name Mbeki Djumbo, is the latest in the trend of rap artists whose main calling card is that they were a hostage at one point or another. BOOTFA$E’s album “Blindfolds and Electrodes” dropped on the 26th and already the kids are eating it up. Alandre Smith said “Yo, you know this shit is HOT! Boot is really a big inspiration, yo, everynight I been shocking my balls wiff two car batteries just to build my stamina up like BOOTFA$E. Not to mention his rhymes are all kinds a fucked up.”  Mr. FA$E hails from Rwanda and has been a hostage for 3 years strong. His first release “Help me, Please, This is not a song” went straight to the top of the charts in Rwanda and Europe thanks to constant airplay. He had several subsequent hits with “My life is in Danger this is not a joke” and “Oh god, this burns. NAS is a bitch”, and last year’s “Send Help, fuck Jay-z”
Concerned parents are starting to complain rampantly. From the CPLOFAA (Concerned Parents League Of Faggotts And Assholes) Shirley McSpadden claims kids are imitating BOOTFA$E. “The other day, I had several reports of children blindfolding themselves and sticking a hose down their throats and turning it on. Chinese Water Torture! What child would do this to themselves? I will tell you, a child who listens to BOOTFA$E!” The CPLOFAA is demanding a senate hearing on the new phenomenon. Senator Richard Wintsky (D-MI) said “I like others are concerned, I unlike others need to get re-elected like a motherfucker, so you know, I need to act all concerned and shit to get me some airtime. I get re-elected and I get my pension, what happens from there? Don’t give a shit, these kids are all idiots anyways…but concerned soccer moms vote...Hell, if the fuckin’ Neo-Nazis could prove their power at the polls I would renounce my Jewish faith in a second! By the way…Wintsky in 2006!” On the other hand Charles Willeford of the PWADATT (Parents Who Are Drunk All The Time) said “Man, who gives a shit! These kids need to toughen up. You know, I hit my kid once…once! And he goes down…fucking glass jaw bitch…My dad…used to slam me like…a good four…five times and then I’d go down.” Marty Loewenstein of BMI music group said “This is a very successful formula they have going here. You know, we are working on Eminem live from Guantanamo album and 50 Cent gets kicked in the balls project. So I am pleased with these trends and we are going to adapt…because I have no soul….nor do I have an original bone in my body…I just need money…and fast….no seriously…I eat money to live.” Well the opinions are all over the place, but one thing is for sure, BOOTFA$E has a bright future ahead of him, his album already went double platinum and he has legions of fans anticipating his every move…or released statement. 2005 |
