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Arnold Introduces Hummer That Runs on Steroids Added September 2006  The governor of the Gods, Arnold Shwarzanegger opened the Dhaka Auto Show in Dhaka, Bangladesh with a huge surprise. He drove out onto the show floor trumpeting GM’s new Hummer – which runs completely on steroids.
A Class C drug, Anabolic Steroids are the most fuel efficient substance known to man, getting 9 miles per gram. Automakers shied away from them earlier because of their illicit status in most countries and their extremely high pollution output.  “This is the car of the future. In six years, three months and forty-seven hours, everyone will be driving off of the ‘roids. People will come to see pollution as a good thing, like here in Dhaka,” Shwarzanegger pronounced afterwards.
Unlike current oil based fuels used in automobiles, steroids’ produces twenty to thirty times as much carbon monoxide and other polluting chemicals. Most countries abhor such defamations of the Earth, but Bangladesh is one of the few countries which strives to destroy as much of the planet as possible. “We will show the Earth who is really stronger,” Dhaka mayor Sadeque Hossain Khoka said when asked if he is concerned about the new hummer’s polluting problems. It is hard to imagine there being much of a market for the vehicle in Bangladesh, an impoverished country in Central Asia. GM is hoping to move it into the United States pending the passing Shwarzanegger’s two bills in California. Both legalize Steroids as a “fuel”, but one extends the definition of “vehicles” to include humans.  Holding the car’s unique syringe-shaped fuel cell, Arnold insisted his bills would pass. “I know they’ll pass. This is not a liability. You can be governor of one state, and the spokesman for one car, that is the rule. Californians want a new fuel source, and I have found one.”
Fueling up could be a problem, as Gas stations may be reluctant to carry the drug and it’s stock of hypodermic needles that inject up to 40 ounces of anabolic steroids into the car. But, many drivers may be attracted to the possibility of getting over 350 miles per fill up. 2006 |
