Coup leaders promise to bring Rock N Roll to Thailand Added June 2007 The military leaders of the September 2006 coup that deposed Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra held a press conference Tuesday where they promised to bring Rock N Roll and other forms of music to Thailand. Thailand’s new military junta leader, Sonthi Boonyaratglin, announced that “nobody should worry, because I want to rock and roll all night. And party every day.” The news conference was expected to outline the military’s plan to restore democracy to the fragile country which has not had a coup since 1992. Instead the generals came out and performed a Thai rendition of “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”. Crtics have argued that Rock N’ Roll has been vibrant in Thailand since Rewat Buddhinian. Interim Prime Minister Surayud Chulanont scoffed at that notion and instead said “this is different, this time – it’s all about the chicks.” Appearing with the generals wearing a military uniform with the sleaves cut off was Kiss front man Gene Simmons. He was officially knighted as a member of the military junta by the King himself. The junta has been using this as a pretext for their coup, claiming they are just “sticking it to the man.” In compliance with the new laws being enforced, police now carry air guitars instead of weapons, and when they encounter a crime, instead of stopping it, they jam out. Jammings out have become common place all around Bangkok to demonstrate to the citizens that the new government is “all about their fans”. Rumors have begun circulating of Chulanont’s heroin use and pictures of the King smoking marijuana are now commonplace on billboards throughout Thailand. The leaders are calling their plan “Peace Through Guitar Solos”, roughly translated. Despite heavy criticism from the deposed Thaksin Shinawatra and foreign nations about the plans lack of substance, the coup leaders claim to forage ahead unfazed. In ten years, they boasted, “figuratively, Thailand will be getting laid by a new chick every night.” - Stogiebros.com 2007