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Teacher relays his dreams to students, met with confusion and fear.
Added September 2007
Mcillney, Il-
 A local Science class for a group of 7th graders
turned into a strange 45 minute rant from a broken
man. James Dooley broke down during his lesson about
cells and started to relay to students about what he
would do if his band, the Rockbox Rockers, finally get
signed to a label
Marshal Bricker, 13, said “He just starting staring at
the ceiling and crying…then he broke into what I think
were parts of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ by Journey. At
first we thought it was funny, but then he started to
scream at us to stop laughing. He said it like 10
times.”
Kaneesha Jackson, 12, tells what happened from there
“He started talking about some record deal and how the
first thing he would do is buy a bazooka and blow up
the sun. Then he said he would teach one last class
and make fun of all of us for being so poor. Then he
said he would make a doo-doo on the floor and start
throwing it at all of us.”
Marshal Bricker added, “I’m pretty sure I heard him
say something like ‘Mother this is all your fault’
then he started yelling at us to get up. Then he asked
all of the girls in the class who they found more
attractive…him…or his ex-wife’s new husband. Anyone
who said they thought the other guy was cuter…it just
made him cry harder and harder to under stand.”
Omar Williams, 14: “He got snot all over my Roca Wear
Jacket!”
Melanie Bridges, 13: “After a while he kinda cried
himself out and he kinda realized, like, what he did
was, like, stupid…so he got up and tried to convince
us that that movie Men in Black was real and that he
had one of those mind eraser things. He, like, shined
a laser pen in our eyes and told us “YOU ARE
FORGETTING EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAW AND HEARD!” I like,
didn’t forget, I really like will smith still.
Omar Williams, 14: “Man, can I get a ride home?”
Kaneesha Jackson: “Mr. Dooley heard the secretary call
someone on the loud speaker…he thought it was god,
then he got all upset because god was a woman. So he
started yelling the word…c-u-n-t….at the ceiling.
That’s when the janitor came in…”
Michael Dinkins, 13: “Oh man, that was the best part.
Mr. Dooley was all like crying and saying “arrest me
officer, please! Please!” But it was the freekin’
janitor. Oh man, Jeff the Janitor didn’t know what to
do…so he totally played along and pretended to arrest
him!! It was so funny”
Mr. Dooley was then taken to the office where he was
given a 2 weeks leave of absence in order to recover
and take a breather. However, the students will never
forget the ordeal.
Omar Williams said “Man, chicken fingers for lunch!
They good!” and Marshal Bricker said “I have already
written a poem about it for my English class”
- Stogiebros.com
2007
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