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Archeologists no longer that impressed with ancient Mayan Civilization
Added December 2007
Mexico City, Mexico - -
 “I dunno, once I saw the Apocolypto movie, it kinda went downhill from there. I thought they had rudimentary cars and lasers, then I realized I was thinking about the Lost City of Atlantis,” said Mexico’s leading archeologist, Juan Poltrez. His comments echo a wave sentiment from scientists and professors across the world who have recently become slightly unimpressed with the ancient Mayan Civilization.
“That movie ruined it for us all,” Poltrez remarked, “before then, I used to be like so obsessed. But, now, we know everything we need to know. Let’s move on.”
Already, there have been closings of research labs across the world and even some colleges are beginning to drop Mayan research. The downfall has been staggering, befuddling most analysts as the release of a major motion picture usually boosts interest into a historical subject.
The entire history of scientific research can be directly connected to the popular movies released at the time, dating back to when the 1939 film Atomic Andy spurred interest in nuclear physics that lead to the atomic bomb. More recently, money spent on archeological dinosaur expeditions hit rock bottom until 1993, when Jurassic Park was released, and all A.I.D.s research was shifted into Tyrannosaurus Rexes. There has been no good A.I.D.s movies released since then, hence the lower funding for A.I.D.s cures.
Many expected such a boost would hit the ancient Mayans with the release of the Mel Gibson film Apocolypto, but instead it has had the reverse effect. “I thought they’d be cooler,” Nicaraguan archeologist and amateur cellist, Juan Mexiconez said he felt like they were mystical, mysterious, but instead, the film portrayed them as “lame and ordinary. They were all gross and old. Like did you see the end of From Dusk Til’ Dawn and you know how the vampires are on top of a Mayan thing? I thought it’d be like that, right, you know?”
Like most people who studied the ancient Mayan civilization, Mexiconez and Poltrez did so only because they believed that the ancients had contacted aliens and were mystical, mysterious. But, according to Mel Gibson and years of research, they are not mysterious anymore and there is no evidence of aliens, disappointing millions.
“I just lost interest, moved on, whatever, no aliens I don’t care” said Mexiconez, “right now I’m studying the Assyrians. Nobody knows about them.”
But, some continue to hold out hope and will always study the ancient Mayans. Mexico City archeology professor Juan Shermanez defended his work. “You never know, I mean you really think they built them pyramids by themselves? It had to be aliens.”
While it is agreed that the Egyptian pyramids have been confirmed to be from Outer Space, the Mayan pyramids’ origins are still unknown. They are only composed of 50% asteroid space rocks, while the Egyptians are 100% asteroid rocks. Many scientists theorized that this is because the aliens were just warming up in Mexico, or maybe they were another race of aliens who traveled millions of light years to help a primitive species build small irregular shapes, just like the other race of aliens. Or maybe these are the aliens who talk out their ass with farts and fart out their mouth by talking? Who knows?
Whatever the case, the research field’s drop as a whole has been utterly dramatic, losing respect and reverence after only a year’s time. People like Shermanez hope that scientists will once again become impressed by the ancient Mayans. “They’ll see, one day,” he said,” I’ll find aliens. You watch.”
- Stogiebros.com
2007
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