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Perfume: the story of a murderer By Tom Franklin (Former Gym Teacher) Added June 2007  I used to be a Gym Teacher. They cut P.E. out of our educational budget. More reading less jogging, at least that’s what I tell people. I was accused of touching…okay…I touched three girls and a boy. Gad Dang it! When did an encouraging pat on the buttocks and the breast area become such a bad thing?
Anyways, now I’m out of a job. So they got me writing reviews for the newspapers. I like movies. Mainly sports comedies. Mainly Baseball Sports Comedies. Mainly Major League 1 through 4. So. There were no sports in this movie. At one point I thought I saw a football, but it turned out to be Dustin Hoffman. Maybe if he just gave it a little more hussle out there he wouldn’t have gained all that weight. I didn’t really understand the movie. I’m used to a good story about a guy who is “too old for this shit” if a movie doesn’t have that then I DON’T GET IT! They make movies so darn complicated these days with all the talkin’ and the reading and the paying for the tickets! You heard me. As per our agreement. Stogie Bros was supposed to get me into this movie for free. But the nerd at the ticket counter didn’t know anything about it. So I had to PAY for my ticket. Would you believe it, $9.50 out the window! Now I don’t have my handjob money for the Rainbow House on 73 right near the movie theater! Great! What am I gonna tell Wang-Qua?? I refuse to give a review of this movie until I am paid in either Ten U.S. dollars, burger king coupons or in a gift certificate to the Rainbow House Massage Parlor on 73. 2007 |
